I know when people hear “silent, but deadly” the first thing that comes to mind are those horrible mind altering farts. In a way I was trying to think of a catchy phrase people tend to relate to. Most of my friends would never think of me as silent, but when I first meet people I am extremely quiet. I wouldn’t call it shy, I would say it’s observant. I kind of feel bad about it, but I am a little judgmental. It isn’t necessarily always a bad thing, I just tend to look at people and make up who I think they are.
You see this really macho cocky guy, bleach blonde spiky hair with a wife beater, allowing his muscles to flow free, of course I’m judging him. I think to myself -well I actually talk myself into believing I’m right- that he was probably a chubby kid in Elementary school. It’s possible it wasn’t his fault he was chubby, his father was an alcoholic and just heated up microwavable dinners as a “nutritious meal” and you know how alcoholic fathers are, they are never the type to spend quality time taking their overweight sons outside to throw the old football around. So he grew up chubby, but always looked up to those muscular physiques on ESPN, hoping that one day he would be that guy. In high school he tried out for the football team and to his surprise and mine he made the Junior Varsity team and from there it just took off. He worked out 3 times a day, and when he started noticing a difference he started to pick on those other kids with a little excessive weight and soon he was this built figure standing in front of me. As for the hair, his girlfriend is probably a cosmetology student and asked if she could use him as a test dummy for her first blonde hair dye experience on a real person. Seeing as how this is his first girlfriend and she only appreciates his new body and doesn’t know about the past “Chubby Flubby” as he was called, he did whatever she wanted him to do, as this was his trophy girl! The wife beater is just to show everyone how much work he put into himself and with the dedication and commitment, you too can achieve success!
I think this way whenever I see anyone, whether they come across as pompous a-hole’s or not, there is always a story. A lot of times I try to make it go deeper, like for the muscular guy, I would wonder what happened to his mother, but by that time they are introducing themselves. This could be another reason why I have a hard time remembering peoples names when told for the first time, the story takes a hold of me and while I just want to call this guy Chubby Flubby, his real name is Bruce, which doesn’t coincide with my story and I forget it.
So that kind of explains the silent part of my title, but the deadly part doesn’t really have an explanation. Silent goes hand and hand with deadly. I am not a silent killer, I can barely harm these crazy moving lizards who always happen to get into my apartment. Out comes the broom and a jar, as the screams get louder and louder, but yeah, not a killer. There is a movie where I want to say Morgan Freeman said, “our mind can be a deadly tool”. It’s very possible Morgan Freeman never said it, but how often is it that Morgan Freeman’s voice talks in your head? Because for me, whenever I’m thinking of a wise, insightful quote or bit of information Morgan’s voice happens to pop up. I am always trying to be deep for reasons that escape me, but it ends up not making any sense and causing laughter with all listening parties.
You can call me silent in a judgmental way and deadly in a Morgan Freeman type of way, but I suppose this is where my blogs begin 🙂