Believe it or not this cheery little woman gets down sometimes. I have actually sought out a Naturopathic doctor to talk hormones, because at certain times things get a bit out of hand and I’m not even on birth control, so I can’t blame it on that.
While on the naturopathic topic though, I must say when I eventually have kids with Matt, my life is going to be so funny. Matt has always been very natural, green and organic. Some discussions I remember very fondly when we first met are, the dangers of the microwave, dryer sheets, cell phone/computer radiation, air fresheners and Tum’s to name a few. He also schooled me (in the most loving way possible, of course) on how water bottles, soaps, lotions, hair products, and basically every product I used at the time can negatively affect me. Over the nearing 8 years we have been together, I have changed my ways and I too try to lead as natural of a life as possible.
Anyhow, back to the topic at hand! See what happens, when I feel down is, I try to instantly think of things that make me happy. Number one contender is Matt, as you can see! Even with his hippy quirks he is so great and he just wants me to live a long, healthy life with him, so I get it. What else makes me happy? As of now I am at work and that isn’t necessarily always the happiest place, but things happen here that are great! One of my co workers always keeps me laughing. She comes across as this sweet older lady who cannot do any harm, but each day she fills me in on how she is over this job. Granted she has been here FOREVER, but she has her exit speech all written and whenever that day comes, she is going to let everyone have it. I certainly hope I get to see this because, she is definitely fired up and I don’t think anyone is going to expect it. She tells me not to bring in so many personal items because her lawyer has told her that in Illinois they can get rid of you at any time and that reduces embarrassment, so you’ve got to be prepared. Paranoid yes, but great nonetheless.
Outside of work, when I’m feeling down I focus on all those things I am grateful for… I have my health, I have an amazing family and group of friends, I have a roof over my head, I have a job, I have food on the table every day, I live in a country where I am free to express my beliefs and opinions without prosecution, it seems as though I have it pretty good. Then I think, if all of this is going for me, why am I so down? It has to be hormonal… Why would it bother me that although the bus was pretty sparse this morning, the stinkiest man decided to squeeze himself in right beside me? Why should it bother me that every time I am waiting on the bus and it arrives, men butt in line, in front of many women and older ladies at that? I mean where has chivalry gone?
At this point I figure maybe it’s the bus or being trapped inside that is making me unhappy, so fresh air might be what the doctor ordered (the naturopath definitely would suggest more Vitamin D). Walking around the city makes me so happy. The city is so beautiful, people are so friendly, but what about this weather? The reason I left Florida was because of the humidity and I hate sweating it causes my inner thighs to rub together and chaff. Of course this makes me think of all the times my family has “lovingly” mentioned that I am gaining weight. Oh really? I just look at myself every day in the mirror, but I didn’t understand what I saw until just now, when you told me. Shesh… this could be a reason why I live so far away. Makes me think back to what I said earlier, being so fortunate and having an amazing family, lol! I know they are looking out for my best interest and they assume being thinner will make me happy, even if they are wrong, I would definitely be upset if they weren’t around, so I am happy again… blessed to have them in my life.
I’m smiling because I have gotten over that little mood swing and I’m enjoying the architecture of the city, then I pass by a group of guys. Man, I shouldn’t have been smiling. Of course these dudes think I was smiling and making eye contact at the very same time, because I wanted a piece of them? Makes perfect sense… Now there is hooting and hollering (not sure why those two words go together?) inappropriate references to my butt, the brave guy in the group feels the need to try and touch my hand, ughh personal space! When I tell them I am married, I get classic eye rolls as if I’m lying, and I am just counting down the seconds until I hear the go-to line, “I just want to be friends”. Then I look like the mean one because I say I don’t need any other friends, all I want is them to go away. Here comes “down” Jasmine. I think to myself… it could get dangerous walking around the city. What if those guys weren’t so easy to say no to, what if they didn’t want to hear no? Bad thoughts pass through my mind and here I am again feeling the weight of the world. The flowers don’t look as pretty, I can’t even make eye contact with anyone and I quickly hop back on a bus.
I get home and am greeted at the door by my husband and this is when I am brought back. The glass of wine definitely helps as well, but this is my happy place! I figure I might be a little bi polar. The littlest things cause a change in my mood and I am already all over the place, but for now I am at peace and I love life! When I’m feeling down, the best medicine is honestly a dose of Matty. It’s crazy how one person can have such an impact, but I guess that is the way the cookie crumbles. I smile again, referencing Jim Carrey in Bruce Almighty, trying not to think of what has happened to his career as of lately. Here we go… When all else fails I imagine this… Rompers make me happy, but a peplum romper? Ahhmazing 😉
Please comment with your real name using good manners.