We all have obsessions. Some are healthier than others. Chocolate, fashion, celebrities, Pinterest… these are normal to have. According to Merriam Webster an obsession is a “persistent disturbing preoccupation with an often unreasonable idea or feeling.” Why must it be disturbing? And why is it often unreasonable? Whose to judge? I know that some people obsess till a point where it becomes dangerous, a Robin Williams- One Hour Photo situation, but that’s not what I’m talking about here.
My best friend D is obsessed with Tom Hardy. No, she isn’t hanging outside of his home waiting for him to arrive, only to catch even the slightest glimpse of those lips (oh those lips), or going to his barber, collecting all of his fallen locks of hair to add to her shrine (although I wish I didn’t mention that last one because I wouldn’t put it past her), but it is still an obsession. While she loves him and talks about him more often than not, no one is getting hurt, she can still live a relatively normal life and all is good. This is similar to my obsession with interracial relationships.
I guess some could say this is unreasonable. Who obsesses over a type of relationship? Well ladies and gentlemen, hello nice to meet you, my name is Jasmine and I am obsessed with interracial relationships. While I do appreciate all of the different types of interracial relationships and find them to be beautiful, I truly only obsess over the ones where the female is of African descent. A black girl with a white guy, absolutely love! A rarer yet equally magical match up is a black girl with an Asian guy. Are you kidding me? I can hardly contain myself when I see it, especially if he is big and buff (also very uncommon).
I would think if this was a crazy person obsession I would know when these feelings started, but that I cannot tell you. All I know is it has become part of me. I used to watch the movie Soul Man on repeat as a little girl. Deep down I knew I would date outside of my own race. My sister and I used to play house and we would never put the same” type” together romantically. Ashleyana was a human, but she dated Roger the rabbit and Jowliette was a pig, she dated (basically everyone), but I think she settled down with Rocky who was a marsupial of some sort who could pop out of his own pouch (funny I remember this). Personally, I believed dating within my own culture wasn’t as exciting. I say that like I know about it, but honestly I have never even dated within my own race. Is that crazy? To my defense I haven’t dated much, if at all, but everyone has a preference and it is simply my preference.
Yes, I basically know of every actor that has been with or still is with a black female romantically. Yes, I have a board filled with the cutest biracial babies on Pinterest. Yes, I have coined a phrase for interracial couples and point it out whenever I see them. Yes, I am a fan of Interracial Relationships and Interracial Dating on Facebook. And yes, my obsession has even led me to find my amazing husband, who is white by the way. So what is the phrase you ask? Well, my dad is married to a white woman and she calls my type of relationship, “a reverse” because she feels it’s more common to see black men with white women, which could be true, thus rationalizing my obsession for the rarity. Well whenever my husband and I see a couple “our way” we call it, “the right way”. Haha, lame I know, it’s only funny if you know my step mom, but I’m definitely not saying our relationship is better than anyone else’s, it’s just perfect for us. So we will be walking down Michigan Ave and I will get a nudge, a whisper of “right way”, with a chin raise pointing out a couple that I have already noticed, but I’m not as obvious as he is and we delight in their relationship. Me and my love below 🙂 Almost 9 years and going strong.
I know many people who say, “I don’t see color” and to me that is a lie. Unless you are color blind and even then, you can see some colors, so unless you are blind, you are lying. What it comes down to is when you see color, how you respond. Do you judge someone based on their color? I enjoy genuine people, who love laughing and those are the people I choose to surround myself with. Within this group there are tall, small, skinny, thick, different hair textures, different skin complexions, basically all different physical appearances and it’s a beautiful thing. We see these differences in each other and we respond positively. To not see these things, in my opinion, is to be in denial. I guess I take it to a new level because when I see these things, these couples mixing it up, it gives me extra joy. Breaking the bounds, saying screw you to what society seems to think is right.
Some of my all-time favorite interracial couples, “the right way” are… Richard and Mildred Loving, obviously. Does Thomas Jefferson and Sarah “Sally” Hemings count? Bobby D and his wife Grace, David Bowie and Iman, of course the late Roger Ebert and Chaz. Can’t forget about, Robin Thicke and Paula, Justin Chambers and Keisha, George Lucas and Mellody, amazing chef Charlie Trotter and wife Rochelle, Alfre Woodard and Roderick, Tamera Mowry and Adam. And as far as not dating anymore, I loved Bradley Cooper and Zoe (although she is Dominican, I will claim her). Remember Shia LeBeouf and RiRi? How about Bill Maher and Karrine Steffans? John Krasinski and Rashida, Chris Evans with Naomie, Rasario Dawson with Mathieu, and Regina King and Nicholas Gonzalez, just to name a few. Oh can’t forget about the fictional characters from movies or television shows that I love… Kevin Costner and Whitney Houston-The Body Guard, Olivia Pope and her President- Scandal, Crosby and Jasmine- Parenthood, Sanaa Latham and Simon-Something New and one of my favorite movies Corrina Corrina with Whoopi and Ray Liotta.
While this might be an unhealthy obsession, I know you have obsessions too, so you can’t judge. This one does not affect my day-to-day in a negative way. In fact it makes things better. Can you say that about your obsession? I would only hope after reading this when you see an interracial relationship my way, you will smile at them in celebration and think of this blog. Maybe you are intrigued? Possibly thinking about drawing outside of the lines yourself? Well I welcome it and will be here for support. Go out there and mix things up!